Illegal Immigration

Here's an e-mail that's been floating around the internet:

My Trip to Mexico> >> >

Dear President Bush:> >> >

I'm planning a trip to Mexico with my immediate family and all extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements.

We're just skipping all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws, because I'm sure they handle those things the same way we do here.

But would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that we're on our way? Please let him know that we'll be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services we might need, whether we use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. We'll want our kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. We want our kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Plan to feed our kids a free breakfast and lunch at school.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I won't know, and don't plan to learn, any of their local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from President Fox to leave us alone, please be sure that all their police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic family celebration on July 4th but we don't want any complaints or negative comments from the neighbors.

12. I would also like to have a nice "temporary" job but I won't be paying any taxes, and don't expect their labor laws to apply to me.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say anything critical about me or my family, or about the strain we might be placing on their economy.

I know this is an easy request because we do all these things for their folks who visit the U.S.

I'm sure that President Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with the Vice President! :0)

Thanks, and have a nice day!